Sweet and Savory, Bad Behaviory

“Is there anything on this buffet that is gluten free, anything at all!?”

I paused for a moment as a chill ran down my spine.

I had forgotten to provide a gluten free alternative and now my militant guest was calling me out with shrill, Verruca Salt-like attitude. I scrambled for a box of gluten free crackers, uncontaminated fruit, rock candy (maybe a little past the expiration date, but rock candy doesn’t go bad right?!). I looked for anything, ANYTHING, that would suffice in this entertaining emergency. How did I miss this? I finally found something and quickly prepared a small plate for my guest.

But I’ll be honest, after catching my breath I became slightly irritated.

Allergies can be deadly, so as a host or hostess we want to be made aware of all dietary restrictions and my guest seemed to have forgotten to inform me of her condition. The goal of any good host or hostess is to provide and cater to their guest’s every need. However, sometimes people take their guest status a little too far. Instead of taking offense, take note – and learn from it!

I make sure I always take into stock comments I hear during the event. Then after all the guests leave, I do what the military calls a “hot wash,” or an ”after-action report.” I mentally go over the good and the bad, the successful and unsuccessful. You understand! It’s a great way to make sure at your next event you don’t find yourself in a hard place between a gluten-free guest and a gluten-full table.

“I hate meatloaf but this is actually good.”

“How long do we have to stay?”

“Does she actually drink wine out of this?”

Think I’m kidding? Even the most refined officer and polished lady of state can accidentally leave their mental filter at home.

“I hate this champagne, it is ca-ca.”

“Oh nothing for me, we leave for Hawaii in a week and I am dieting.”

“I don’t eat vegetables in my dessert.”

That last one? Foreign military – bet you never thought of that!

“Doesn’t she have any wine glasses that are bigger?”

“I know I said I couldn’t make it but surprise, I’m here!”

“I used the cream in your fridge.”

It was breast milk for the baby.

I brought the baby because I knew you would want to hold her.”

“You wouldn’t be able to mix up a few martinis would you?”

“Those directions were terrible, who wrote them?”

“I hate the colors red and green.”

At a Christmas party!

“I don’t eat off of buffets, I am afraid people have touched all the food.”

“I drank the last of the Jack…”

“I hate Mexican food.”

Guess what was being served?

“I think my boyfriend is drunk…”

“Can I turn the game on?”

“Oh, when are you due?”

Well the only thing due that night was the electrical bill, so unless you’re at her baby shower, do not ask a lady when she is due…

Too, too funny but all true.

I listen to the polite complaints, I watch for food left on plates. It all holds value as a visual after-action.

The truth is my wine glasses were too small and the champagne may very well have been cheap. Lesson learned.

I also take into consideration how people were raised.

My first generation, immigrant mother has often used the word “obbondanza” which is Italian for abundant. Everything must be abundant, mounded butter, mounded salad, mounded pasta, eat, eat, and eat! I once attended a dinner where the hostess prepared an absolutely delicious meal. She served each guest one portion then removed all of the food back to the kitchen. Waaaaiiittt I thought… I am a third-helping type of girl.

Rude perhaps, but as I got to know her it became evident she had been raised in a home where they were on a very tight budget and was now running her home the same way.

Another example is when (in an effort to be fancy) I started using cloth napkins. They are chic and classic, yet I failed to consider the fact that if my guest didn’t care for whatever they were eating it was going in the cloth napkin! Needless to say, I have thrown away a few good cloth napkins.

Don’t overestimate (notice I did not say underestimate) your guest’s desire to try new things. I once served liver pâté and ended up placing a small trash can next to the buffet because so many people spit it out (into my good cloth napkins)! Hysterical.

Whatever happens at your event, just remember your guests came because they like you and want to get to know you better.

Be patient and gracious and like they say in the movies, “smile and wave boys, smile and wave.”

Entertainingly Yours,

Cassie

That Moment

There are seminal moments in everyone’s life. The birth of a child, receiving that much desired promotion, the loss of a loved one, a long-term goal seen to fruition and of course the moment you meet “the one.”

They all seem to change us, good or bad, forever.

I remember meeting my Corporal and experiencing that feeling. You know the butterflies in the pit of your stomach type feeling that cannot be pushed aside. As our relationship progressed my interests became his and his interest became mine. He talked about the Marine Corps – a truly foreign entity to me. I wanted to impress him and checked out an obscure book on military operations. Almost thirty years later the only thing I recall is why the “scrambled egg” embellishment is on the white Officer’s cover – we will save that for another entry.

I remember to this day my first social event. A beautiful tea hosted by the Commander’s wife in her historic home on base. My then fiancé received special permission from his company commander for me to attend, as I was not an official Military ID holder! I had no idea what to wear, I had no idea what to expect. What struck me immediately upon entering the event was that this group was different, different from any other group I had ever seen. Well coiffed women, sharing polite conversation, discussing training and deployments, acronyms flying. That entertaining moment was one of my seminal moments. It wasn’t about a party or decorations, it was about the leaders and their spouses taking time to mentor new military families- the future leaders if you will. An age old tradition of customs and courtesies that if lost could prove tragic.

Upon leaving, I vowed I would become a subject matter expert on everything military spouse related! I accepted every invitation and opportunity to volunteer, assist, host or participate in general. It was on-the-job training if you will and I loved it.

Whether newly engaged or married for decades, we are all quick to testify to the unique challenges and ever changing landscape of the military lifestyle. I honestly believe it is the duty of every seasoned spouse to impart their experiences and wisdom upon the upcoming generations. That is why I am penning my decades of experience into words. Through a meal shared and a toast made, bonds are created, relationships grown and the preparation to send our loved ones into harm’s way begins.

Entertainingly yours,
Cassie