Galentine’s Day

You’ve heard about it, you’ve read about it and now you are personally experiencing it.

Another holiday alone.

I guess it would be ok if it were Groundhog Day (did he see his shadow?) or Bastille Day (bonjour and ooh la la!) but it’s Valentine’s Day. A day representing love, romance and companionship. The problem is, your spouse is deployed and you’re not feeling loved or romantic – just irritation and a bit of remorse for shoving down one too many chocolate hearts.

If I stop and think about it I (like many milspouses), have spent half of my adult Valentine’s Days with my husband, and half with my military sisters. But while it was not ideal, you can be sure we women made the most of it – and so should you!

Military spouses are sharp cookies, a lot of fun to be around and very creative – especially when our hands are forced.

So, if you are finding yourself a-lone, a-gain, gather your unit spouses and plan something! Host a “Whine and Cheese” at your home and encourage everyone to bring their wedding albums. They are beautiful to look at, make people feel good and when old enough are hysterical to flip through. Or, if it’s not just married but fiancés and girlfriends, have everyone bring their favorite couple’s picture. Request that they be brought framed and make them the focal point of your table.

I do recall once where Valentine’s Day fell right in the middle of the deployment cycle. We had one exceptionally bold wife who brought not one, not two, but all three of her wedding albums from her three marriages to include both Officer and Enlisted. Totally next level. (Now see- that is a twist in entertaining that NO ONE sees coming. If you’re the hostess in a situation like that, you just push through and be polite – but you already knew that.)

If you are stationed in a city that has a vibrant nightlife, then make reservations at the hottest restaurant, have everyone pay their own way and host a classy ladies’ “Pin Up” night out.

Trust me your group will make quite the impression.

Host a flight suit formal or a diamonds and denim night. A few weeks beforehand have the Commanding Officers Spouse schedule a live FaceTime feed where the forward deployed are able to give a quick shout out to their spouses. You will need to coordinate the attendees and their active duty spouses. We don’t want anyone to be left out.  Never a dry eye in the room when this is done!

The possibilities for your alternative Galentine’s Day are endless. The worst thing you can do is sit at home alone lamenting your current situation so get up and do something about it! Rally your gal pals and host an epic event.

Remember when the spouses and families are content at home, our active duty can focus on the mission at hand. Even if it means throwing a party.

Entertainingly Yours,

Cassie

And You Are….?

     I am not sure who this post is for, the host or the guest. I will leave it for you the reader to decide.
     Whether you are attending an upscale dinner party or your child’s soccer game, a proper introduction is always important, if not necessary, especially in the military lifestyle. For many of us, the need to give or receive an introduction may be an everyday occurrence. 
While researching proper introductions, I came across a brief explanation from a wonderful blog entitled The Art of Manliness.
The Big Rule:
“The overarching principle when making introductions is deference and respect. You show chivalrous deference to women by introducing the man to the woman. You show respect for your elders by introducing the younger to the older. And in a business setting, you show respect to higher-ups by introducing the person of lower rank to the person of higher position.”
Simple and I could not have written it better myself, hence the backdoor plagiarism. That was so very manly as well. 
And so dear readers, journey back with me if you will to a time and place of long ago. Picture a young Marine wife full of life but most importantly full of herself. She receives a phone call and is politely voluntold to sit on a committee. All right – it was me and I may have trouble articulating tenses so I will henceforth and here unto speak in everyday English.
A committee spot had opened up for a spouse’s organization in Washington, D.C. and a senior leader’s wife called and asked me if I would fill the void. For you civilians out there, that is what is referred to as being voluntold. A healthy fear of saying no… Of course I said yes and off I went to a place I had never heard of before… Fort Myer in Virginia. 
Picture if you will, a beautiful historic home sitting atop a grassy ridge overlooking the Potomac River. “Nice,” I thought to myself as I pulled up in the minivan. “I wonder who lives here…” I have never been accused of over preparing for anything in my life and this day was no different. I walked into the home and as with all good spouses’ meetings; we opened with food and drink. 

 A lovely, older woman (we will call her Susie to protect the innocent and my husband’s career) approached me and we started to chat. I took her for a civilian guest and in my most authoritative of tones began to explain the finer points of military life to include a deep and meaningful explanation of Marine Aviation. Gosh she was so nice and easy going, whose lovely aunt, is this anyway? I wonder where she is visiting from. Our lopsided conversation was coming to a close with Susie being the obvious loser. We politely parted ways and as is the lovely dance of a women’s coffee, I came to speak with another spouse who looked to be around my age. “Wow,” she said. “What on Earth did you talk about with her?” “Who,” I asked. “The wife of the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, that’s who!”  

Oh snap.

 

Now, everyone deserves politeness, kindness and the gift of your time but let us be crystal clear, when dealing with the leaders of any organization, and in my opinion, the military, as stated above, it is always about deference and respect. Do you respect your spouse, their job, their field of work? Then why would you not want to put your best foot forward and maintain the customs and courtesies of our culture regarding our leadership? Goodness, I still remember being petrified of my husband’s Staff Platoon Commander!
I was caught totally flatfooted and remained uncomfortable for the rest of the meeting. Why had she not introduced herself? Why had I not introduced myself? Why did I talk so much? Did I actually explain to her what the commissary was? Aren’t there supposed to be nametags at these events? 
The drive home was a swirling of “what did I say” thoughts and “what if I had said” ruminations. It was exhausting. 
Let’s put a bow on this. From a host/hostess perspective; someone at the door greeting, nametags and group introductions are always appropriate. From a guest perspective, do your research. When in doubt, google people, places and events. It helps in conversation prompting as well as history of the location and what to wear. If attending with friends, devise a plan to gather names. Make a game out of it. If you stay in long enough, this will be an ongoing situation for you and your spouse.

Throughout my time on the committee the spouses were all very gracious and I have come to understand that events such as these are where we turn the corner of understanding just a bit more of this military lifestyle.  

Entertainingly Yours,

Cassie