Show and Tell

As a young boy, my husband often found himself in places he should not have been. This includes (but is not limited to): His older brother’s bedroom, the living room that his mother kept so perfectly and, of course, his step-father’s study.

Occasionally, he will recount for our children the day he snuck into the study and simply started looking around.  His step-dad, a Vietnam era fighter pilot and Colonel in the Air Force, was an old school, American fighting man. His office, like so many others, was visual proof of a long and illustrious career of honorable service to his beloved nation. Certificates, trophies, citations and mementos from worldwide travel hung on walls and sat on shelves.

In his search for nothing in particular, my husband came across a pen. But, this was no ordinary pen and my future husband knew it. He quietly slipped the pen into his front pocket and tip-toed out of dear old dad’s office.

 Next stop… Show and Tell.

Raise your hand if you remember Show and Tell. What a great opportunity to share the doll you received for your birthday or new baseball bat you received for Christmas. My husband was and has never been that predictable. He was an over-achieving Kindergartner, not to be outdone.

As he was called up front to present, one can envision the class patiently waiting for the next classmate’s turn (perhaps even a little bored, depending on what their fellow students had brought to share). Like a magician playing to a full house, with drama and flair, Joe removed the pen from his front pocket and thrust his arm high in the air. On the front of the pen was a woman dressed in a black one piece bathing suit.  When turned upside down, the suit slowly dropped to reveal a nude woman. He turned it right side up and voila, she was dressed again! Point up, naked lady. Point down dressed lady, and so it went. For a five-year-old, it was mesmerizing to say the least.

As an educator myself, I imagine his teacher sitting at her back desk possibly grading papers and probably paying little attention to the items brought from home that day. I also imagine her, upon looking up and seeing the unpalatable pen, pulling together her 1970’s poly-rayon dress and scaling not only her desk but subsequent desks much like an Olympic hurdler going for gold.

A day that will go down in infamy at The Kiddie College of Orlando, Florida.

The military culture also has a form of Show and Tell, though nowhere near as scandalous. As far back as I can remember, there have been ceremonies and socials, recognition and recitations all in an effort to send the message “well done” to an active duty service member and often times their spouse. But what happens when the party dies down and the parade is over? You find yourself with a collection of really amazing, one-of-a-kind awards, photos, trophies and certificates. Fast forward a few decades into a career and you have what the military sarcastically refers to as an “I love me” wall. Some may even think it hearkens, “look at me, look at me, I’m awesome, aren’t I?”

Not really.

 A properly hung wall inspires the next generation to create their own accomplishments. Everything on the wall is a story to be shared. A memory to be pondered and a piece of history for all who observe. It is a celebration of camaraderie and the relationships forged during adversity and challenge. A display of gratitude to all the people who served along with you. It also gives our younger service members a sense of enthusiasm and offers a glimpse of what he or she may experience while serving. The wall acknowledges combat experience, multiple deployments, personal achievements, promotions and displays an overall dedication and love for country.

In the simplest of moments, the awards wall is a fabulous conversation starter and point of interest during a unit gathering in your home. I have actually seen people tear up when recognizing a comrade in arms or recalling a fond memory with a unit.  Honestly, how many people do you know who have earned the title of Shell Back for their first crossing of the Equator or own aerial shots of themselves in an F-18? It is always fabulous and always interesting from your first plaque to your certificate of retirement.

Unfortunately, it is not all guts and glory. If you are a cut-up, your farewell gift may reflect that. I recently heard a friend describe a gift her husband received from the unit as a farewell. A toilet seat that when opened revealed a picture of himself. Brilliant. Why didn’t I think of that? Would that go on my wall? Absolutely.  I’m sure they hang well but it would have to be the right color of course.

If you are just starting out, I encourage you to hang with pride. My husband’s “I love me” wall is my job (by choice) to create every time we move. I find a place of honor in our home for the branch he serves in, pride in my country and to reminisce about our amazing experiences together.

Sadly, there still is no room for the naughty pen on our wall.

Entertainingly Yours,

Cassie

PLEASE RISE FOR THE PASSING OF THE COLORS

Often times, the purpose of military entertaining is to compliment the moment.

That moment may be a retirement, a post and relief, or a change of command and you can be sure that all will likely have a reception or party that follows.

A successful ceremony should easily transition into a successful reception. It’s the natural flow, and has been for years. But how do we personally achieve this? First and foremost: by understanding our detailed roles – whether as a guest in the bandstand, or a VIP in the front row.

To help you understand I’d like to offer you a quick tutorial on our beloved flag.

One question I hear most often pertains to flag etiquette.

“What are the responsibilities of a spouse, or guest, not in uniform during an important event as the flag passes by?”

This may seem like a minor issue, but in reality, it is of utmost importance that you know what to do as you stand among the active duty  men and woman within the command.

To give you a specific example, let’s use a change of command ceremony:

Congratulations! Your spouse has slated for command and more than a million questions are swirling through your mind. Everything from important dates to people to meet, even potential deployments. You’ll find that throughout command, flexibility, fluidity and adaptability will be called for.

However, when it comes to the U.S. Flag Code – none of that applies. The rules are strict and time honored.

For anyone to deviate from the U.S. Flag Code whether knowingly or unknowingly is unacceptable and disrespects our fallen. During the actual ceremony of taking command, there will be a color guard and if you are fortunate enough, a military marching band in full regalia. As the spouse of the incoming commander, you traditionally are seated in the front, left row, second seat in and facing the troops in formation. All eyes will be on you, your fellow spouse, and both the incoming and outgoing commanding officers. As new arrivals to the military, we are all taught to watch the spouse of the senior leader for our cue – when to stand, when to sit, when to place our hand on our heart. The burning question is, who do you watch as the senior leader’s spouse? You can watch your spouse as he or she rises but at this stage of the game, you need to know the rules of etiquette pertaining to the flag so let’s begin!

The United States Flag Code was published by Congress in a joint resolution on June 22, 1942. The Code offers guidance for any and all uses of the American flag. I have provided below the conduct called for during the hoisting, lowering or passing of Old Glory.

Title 4, Chapter 1, Article 9:

§9. Conduct during hoisting, lowering or passing of flag

During the ceremony of hoisting or lowering the flag or when the flag is passing in a parade or in review, all persons present in uniform should render the military salute. Members of the Armed Forces and veterans who are present but not in uniform may render the military salute. All other persons present should face the flag and stand at attention with their right hand over the heart, or if applicable, remove their headdress with their right hand and hold it at the left shoulder, the hand being over the heart. Citizens of other countries present should stand at attention. All such conduct toward the flag in a moving column should be rendered at the moment the flag passes.

Clear and straightforward – though missed by so many.

Here is a helpful tip: as the flag comes into your periphery, stand and place your right hand over your heart. As the flag leaves your periphery you may lower your hand and take your seat. Be bold and committed in your actions. Lead with confidence.

The customs and courtesies of the Armed Forces are like nothing else in society. When you take time to learn and embrace them, you honor those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.

Entertainingly Yours,

Cassie